I had repented and I had been praying for months that this guilt be taken from my soul and yet I felt lost. How did I know God had forgiven me? Guilt and sadness still permeated my heart. I decided to continue onward, studying my scriptures, praying every day and trusting God. Sometime later I was listening to a talk at church and it hit me. God did forgave me the day I repented and asked for forgiveness, but had I forgiven myself? It was at that moment I realized that I needed to allow the Atonement to work in my life. I had stood in my own way by constantly beating myself up for making a bad choice but now I could allow myself to heal spiritually. By forgiving myself I felt peace flood into my heart and a joy that is indescribable lift my soul.
We are all so imperfect! Though perfection is the ultimate goal it's hardly fair for us to expect ourselves to not make mistakes along the way. When we do we should get back up, brush ourselves off and keep running towards the Savior. Only with Him can we become our best selves, even in our weakness. Isaiah 1:18 states that "though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow."
We have many relationships in this life and one of the most important is the relationship we have with ourselves. If you are like me, you have high expectations for yourself and when you don't live up to those you beat yourself up. God wants us to aim high, but He also wants us to allow room for our human-side to mess up along the way. In our life journeys He expects us to be kind to others as well as ourselves. The way we speak to ourselves should be with love and compassion as He would speak to us.
I once heard a song sung by Kenneth Cope called "Broken." It opened my eyes to how God looks beyond our brokenness and sees us as we really are, someone worth fixing. We didn't come to earth to be perfect, we came here to learn and grow from mistakes. Christ died to fix broken things and lift me to my potential despite my weaknesses. I can punish myself for not being perfect or I can allow Him to heal my hurts and shape me into the woman I was destined to become. This is a choice I have had to make in my life.
My hope is that you can love yourself despite any past mistakes, weaknesses or imperfections. Love yourself, forgive yourself, and allow the Atonement of Jesus Christ to take it's full effect in your heart and your life. I promise you that the greatest joy awaits when you do! Always remember that "God loves broken things" and we should too.
Challenge: In your personal prayers each night this week pray that you can learn to better love and forgive yourself for your short-comings.
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