Have you ever felt so hurt and wronged by someone that your soul is filled with pain and anguish? That you literally feel like you have been wounded and nothing seems to ease the pain? There are a few times in my life that I have felt this way. Betrayed by those I thought were my friends and surrounded by loneliness. These times are moments of the past now, though I didn't realize until a recent experience that I had never fully healed.
One particular friend that had hurt me in this way long ago messaged me recently. She expressed an apology for the pain I had experienced. She asked me for forgiveness. It was in that moment that I realized that the pain was still there. It was less intense, but I realized that I had never let it go. I had never forgiven her or other people that had wronged me. I had never freed myself.
I once heard this analogy about forgiveness that I have never forgotten. In the jungles of Africa, trappers created a trap to trap monkeys. It is shaped like a ball and holds inside of it a banana. When the monkey reaches his hand in and grabs the banana, he can't bring his hand out of the trap as long as his hand is grasping the banana. The monkey has the full ability to free its hand and escape but it is unwilling to let go! This is how the monkey is trapped, by his own doing. Similarly, when we are wronged we can either hold a grudge and keep the hurt and anger in our soul. Or we can, through Christ's Atonement, let go of the hurt and be free. The choice is ours.
My whole life I have learned in the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints about forgiveness. I knew that when Jesus Christ suffered in the Garden of Gethsemane, He did it so that we could feel the joy of being forgiven. But He also suffered so that we could discover the joy of forgiving others and letting go of past pains. After my friend messaged me, I knelt beside my bed and asked God to help me forgive. To help me to forgive her and each of the people that had ever hurt me. To give me love for them.
I can't describe the joy that filled my heart at that moment. I felt a peace fill my soul and I felt pain wiped away from my heart that I didn't even know was there. I discovered the joy of forgiving by turning to Christ, my Savior. I encourage any reading this to search your soul. If you feel any malice or hurt towards another person, turn to Christ. He will give you the strength to let go of the banana and free yourself from the pain. I promise
that in doing so, you will be filled with indescribable joy.
Challenge: Pray to God this week and ask Him to be made aware of any people you may have not yet forgiven. Then allow Christ to help you to let go of the hurt.
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