Finding joy while battling mental illness

In the Bible, Paul mentioned a "thorn in the flesh" (2 For 12:7) that he wished could be removed from Him. He discovered that after asking God to take this struggle from Him three different times, that the Lord's "grace [was] sufficient for [him]." (2 Cor 12:9) Paul found that there are some struggles we deal with that are very hard and that we can only overcome with the help of Christ! In my life I have found one of those struggles to be mental illness. Though I have told very few people, it truly is a "thorn in the flesh" for me. Through it I have discovered the joy that comes by turning to Christ to push through the pain and hardship.

Today I feel prompted to share some thing that is personal to me and is a sensitive topic for many people. It is a hand that some of us have been dealt in the cards of life. For the last 5 years I have been struggling with a mental illness called pure OCD. I won't go into detail but I will say that it has been the most difficult struggle of my life. Before my mission I started getting really bad headaches and my mind started to feel like a thick fog. I couldn't think clearly and felt miserable!

I had a mission call at the time and I thought that

by going on my mission it might go away,

but it actually made everything that much harder.

Every day of my mission was a mental survival to just make it to the end of the day. Up to that point I thought mental illness wasn't real and that those people that had it just needed to get their head on straight but discovered how real it actually was when it hit me. I poured out my soul to God every day to help me get out of myself and work past my mental struggles. I don't know how I finished my mission but I did and I always wondered if I had given enough. After my mission I pushed through two years of college with a constant migraine headache every day. I tried to get the right help but could not find the relief I was seeking. I felt at times like I was hanging onto life by my finger nails. Through all of this I had to deliberately make the decision that I wanted to hold onto Christ and that answers would one day come.

My prayers began for those first few years "please take this from me!" and "I am not strong enough, why me?" They slowly turned into "give me the strength to look outside myself today" and "help me to calm my mind and find peace." Within the last year I have found the right medication and received some counseling to help me battle this struggle that I still face every day. I have learned to manage this trial that I may always have and I have learn to see it as an opportunity to grow! You honestly never know what people are going through until you take a walk in their shoes. Only Christ will ever truly know

So back to the title of this post...how can you possibly find joy while enduring the struggles of a mental illness??? The answer is simple...turn to God! Pray to see this trial through heaven's eyes! There are some days I have had to make the choice to be happy and find the silver lining despite the pain. In the moments I felt like I couldn't handle it any more, I prayed and Christ filled my soul with peace. If you battle a mental illness, this struggle is not who you are just like a person with Diabetes is not their illness. We are each first and foremost children of our Heavenly Father.

God has given each of us different trials in this life and some we create ourselves. Every individual person has their own race to run! We can't judge one another because our race courses are so different and individualized. But what we can do is lift each other when we fall and love each other despite our struggles and weaknesses. Christ died so that He could run each of our race courses WITH us. If we will turn to Him

and let Him lead us...THAT is how we will find the joy we seek!

Challenge: Consider a "thorn in the flesh" or trial that you have dealt with recently. Pray to the Lord this week to be able to see that struggle through heaven's eyes and then turn to Christ to help you bare that burden!