Throughout my life, it has been a goal of mine to be a good girl. I have tried my best to live the commandments and be faithful to the promises I made at my baptism. I have strived to go against the peer pressure the world gives to dress immodestly and be sexually promiscuous. There have been many times I have had to decide whether or not I want to abide by the commandments of God. I would be lying if I said I haven't slipped up here and there, but I am pretty sure that I am not alone. From what I have seen, it is definitely a universal struggle for all of us to keep ourselves sexually pure. I hope some of my insights will help you see that you do not struggle alone!
Over the last few decades, the world has become so over-sexualized to the point that it has desensitized many of us. The filth and destructive nature of pornography and masterbation has become more prominent, the hook-up culture has become the new normal and Homosexual tendencies are a struggle for many. You all know these things, but the point I hope to make is that it is our choice what the "normal" is for us. The world hopes to paint these things as "normal," when in reality there is so much pain and guilt surrounding these things. If you are feeling entangled in a struggle and fight to be sexually pure, just know that there are many that are fighting also!
I have many family and friends that I love dearly who deal with these sexual trials. For some of them, they have to make the decision from minute to minute that they will stay sexually pure. I respect these people so very much for their deep desire to be faithful! They are some of the best people I know. The fact that they deal with such powerful forces of darkness and still strive every day to stay clean is incredible. The mistakes made in the process are erasable, but that consistent effort to stay clean is what matters most and what ensures heaven's help!
I myself have had my struggles and made mistakes in my effort to be sexually clean, but the harder I try to be virtuous the more I feel God's power in my life. There is a real power that comes with every effort we put into being chaste! The spirit naturally becomes a greater part of our life. These efforts could be trying to only use our computer in a public place, choosing to not participate in the hook-up culture (NCMOs), sever friendships that are hurting our spirit, talk to the Bishop, praying for spiritual strength...whatever it is, God will be there to help us in those efforts! It is the role of Jesus Christ to lift us when we pray for strength and consecrate our efforts for our eternal gain.
I have been through the repentance process at different times when I have had to work through things with the Bishop to make myself clean. I am not ashamed of it because I have felt the spirit flood into my life as I have made myself worthy. The temple has become a home and a place of peace rather than a place that brings guilt for past mistakes. The more aligned my spirit is with God's will, the deeper I can feel joy and hope for my future! It is my greatest desire to one day be married in the temple to a righteous young man and be sealed eternally to my future children. That is at the forefront of my mind as I work every day to change and repent.
So my invitation to you is to never give up!!! If you believe you have fallen too far or have committed the same sin too many times, remember the words of an apostle of God that stated that "you cannot sink further than the light of Christ's Atonement shines." (Elder Holland) Put very simply, God loves saints AND sinners! Though the road of repentance can be a tough one, I can assure you that the joy you will receive in the process is worth every step you will take closer to our Savior! It is your decision if you want to keep fighting the good fight to stay clean and become a better person for it. Heaven is cheering you on now and forever!
Challenge: This week consider something that currently stands in your way of being sexually clean and pray to know the first step that God would have you take to be clean.
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