Being the oldest of six, it has been an adventure growing up, but I have loved it. I remember spending hours in the the backyard making up make believe games together with my siblings, staying up late talking or learning dance moves, playing all of our instruments together, going to school together and everything in between! Though we drove each other nuts sometimes and 22 years separates some of us, I love them with all my heart. I would like to share some ways that you can learn to mend broken ties and find more joy in your sibling relationships.
No matter where you are in life, family relationships (like a plant) must receive consistent love and nourishment or they will die. With the busyness of life it is so easy to place such relationships at the bottom of the priority list (though they belong at the top if we don't want to lose them). I have found that especially since leaving home, I have had to make a much greater effort to build relationships with my siblings.
Even my two year old brother Calvin, I try to face-time every other day so he knows I love him!I try to call them each week, single them out when I am home for a break, and keep up with their lives. I have tried to serve them in their love-language, listen to them tell me about their life, and make sure they know that I love them. Through these efforts I have found such joy and a great love for each of them!
It is not an accident that we were placed on this earth in families! These people are literally placed by God Himself into our lives to help us in our journey back to Him. I have seen evidence of that already in my life. My family moved a lot when I was young and so we had to attend three different high schools. My sister Brooke and I always leaned on each other. We would lift each other and be there when things got tough. Friends come and go, but siblings stay forever because they are your family and blood. I honestly believe that one of the challenges we are given in this life is to learn to love your family, especially when you could take offense.
I know that there are times when between siblings where bridges are burned and hearts are pierced. Because they know us better than almost anyone, they can also hurt us like no one can. One of the hardest things we can do in this life is learn to forgive. Though it is difficult to demonstrate such courage and patience, forgiveness acts like an anti-biotic to an infection and heals wounds of the heart. The happiness that could come out of mending these bridges is worth the effort and humility.
I consider the story in the scriptures of the prodigal son where the older son is encouraged to reach out in love to his lost younger brother. Though it may take us laying down our pride, we ought to heed this council and do the same! And even if they may not reciprocate, hatred and annoyance will be replaced by peace and healing in YOUR heart.
In a 79 yr study done at Harvard University, "The most important finding [was that] health flows from how happy people are with their relationships. If people are isolated or suffer from conflict-ridden relationships, their health and happiness deteriorate. If people have good relationships with family, friends, and the community, they live longer, they're healthier, and they're happier." (Cohen, 2018) Sibling relationships can be a big key in our finding significant happiness in our lives. Do what is possible to keep those relationships alive and well!:)
Challenge: Pick one sibling and try to serve them in some way this week (in their love-language)! Also, I would encourage you to read the article below.
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