After coming home from a mission, you then expect to maybe go off to college, get a job, get married, and start a family! Though this is definitely the expectation, it is not usually the reality for most of us. When these things don’t happen in that order it is easy to feel like we have time-bomb strapped to our back, when in reality we have to realize that timing for all of these things are different for everyone! God's plan is not a cookie-cutter plan we must all fit into, but a plan specialized to help each of us grow and reach our own potential! Though we have to be patient at times, there is purpose behind it all!
So how can we find happiness while searching for our eternal companion? There seems to be a stigma these days that if we are not married or dating someone soon after a mission that there is something wrong with us and we may feel like life is moving forward without us. We see friends getting married and having kids while we are "falling behind." This time when we are single is such an opportunity that God has given us that we ought to take advantage of! It is a time to dream big, become our best selves, and become aquainted with God. When God told us that "Adam fell that men might be and men are that they might have joy," He was referring to the married AND the single! Instead of yearning for another stage in life, we can learn to find joy in the now!
Dream big
This time is time for you to focus on discovering more about yourself and what you love! You can try a career field, switch jobs, move to new state, and try a variety of different hobbies. You can go traveling or go on fun adventures with friends. You can dream and paint a life that you love! Set high goals and accomplish things on your bucket list! I have been able to go to the Church sites, be an EFY counselor, visit my mission, sky dive, get a degree and make incredible friends. I have always wanted to go to graduate school and live by mountains, next year I can! Life is a blank canvas on which we can begin to create a masterpiece!
The best version of YOU!
Previous to marriage and family, you can focus on becoming your best version of YOU! One day in the future we will become a husband or wife and maybe even a parent. In those roles there are qualities that would be so useful such as patience, trust, honesty, kindness... that you can develop now! To prepare for those days it is good to look at who you are as a person, those you spend your time with and the person you want to become.
If you are an impatient person, set personal goals to help you become more patient with roommates or family. If you are a messy person, work to clean up your room and your life. If you want an incredible spouse, be an incredible person! If you want to be a great parent, start setting a good example for your future children right now.
Get out of yourself
While working on ourselves we also need to find a good balance and look outside of ourselves too! I have had to make it a point to look outside of my needs to see others around me who need love and ask the Lord to direct me to know who needs help. Though we are facing our own challenges and unknown futures, we can open our eyes and always find others who are in even greater need. The Savior has said, "He that loseth his life for my sake shall find it." If you will pray and ask the Lord to direct you to those who need His love, He will direct you!
Trust God and His timing
Though this time of dating and decisions can consist of a lot of patience and waiting on the Lord's timing, we can take this time to become better aquatinted with God. Rather than becoming frustrated that life's events aren't happening on our time-table we can turn to the Lord in faith and hope. Utilize this time of life to work in the temple, become very involved in our callings, share the gospel with co-workers, study the scriptures consistently, and develop a strong testimony in the gospel. We can surround ourselves with good people and become instruments in the Lord's hands. When we do our part, the Lord will bless us in His timing! We just have to trust Him!
Challenge: Listen to the above talk. Consider one of the qualities you are looking for in a spouse and this week work hard this week to live that quality yourself!
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